A Letter to My Teenage Self
Growing up I had a lot of doubts and worries about my future. Being unable to see what is to come can be terrifying, but choosing to have faith in God’s plan is what has kept me on my path. I have made many detours, gotten stuck in construction zones… I’ve hit many potholes and got lost quite a few times, but I am always guided back to where I need to be. Knowing what I do now, I would like to write a letter to my teenage self… Or to really any teenager that might be feeling like how I did during my developing years. I’m writing this letter in hopes that it helps someone, as I know it would have helped me in my earlier years.
Dear Hannah,
There are so many confusing thoughts and ideas going through your mind. ‘Finding your identity’ is something that has been coming up a lot and it seems as though everyone is going on their own personal journey to achieve this. In the end, you won’t need to “find yourself” as you are already your own. You will find things that you enjoy along the way; cherish them deeply. Don’t allow yourself to feel odd or different due to being interested in things that most people aren’t. Your knowledge, your strength, and your personality are the key things that will keep you going in the right direction. In fact, don’t even worry about the direction and what it may look like. All of the experiences and pain may seem impossible to overcome, but they will shape your heart and mind into something much stronger and greater. Let’s face it; you’ve never “fit in” and it is not going to happen any time soon. See this as a gift; as many people spend their entire lives trying to set themselves apart from the crowd… You just have to open your mouth and speak.
It may not seem like it now, but your words will hold more power than you will know what to do with. Your words will be able to sway large groups of people from one idea to the next. Although this can be easy to abuse, this is very helpful when issues arise and need to be addressed formally. No one can speak like you, no one can write like you, and no one can draw the attention of a room just by the sound of your voice or laugher like you can. Use all of these things carefully and to your advantage. There are rooms you will be invited to sit in that you simply cannot imagine at this point. I know how important it is for things to come full circle for you, for your own sanity; it will.
As far as your writing, it is simply untouchable. Continue to educate yourself and hone that skill daily. Amazing things are to come if you simply trust the process and continue to improve.
You will fail… A lot. It may seem discouraging, but what would success mean without failure? Do not worry about finding friends, they will find you. Don’t worry about dating, there’s a reason that there simply isn’t the time for it. Your focus needs to remain on yourself, your faith, and your craft; you will not have time for anything else. College will not be the greatest experience, but the people you meet and the connections you make will be.
It will take time to find your groove… Like a lot of time. Psychology is your major but not your calling; your calling is people. Continue to focus on writing; it will eventually make sense. Be thankful for all things and rejoice in all sorrow, although you may only feel the pain.
Learning to be open to receiving love and gifts from others can be challenging. Many times you do not know how to react or what to say. As much as you pour into others, it will eventually come back to you. Over time you will learn how to receive love and gifts from others as you so freely give.
It may seem annoying and pointless now, but your years working hard in therapy will begin to pay off as well. You may not be able to envision it now, but you will eventually be self-sufficient in all areas of your life. You have the ability to adapt to changes around you and find safety when it matters the most. Everything will work out. It will be rocky the first few years, but don’t lost hope.
